five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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