Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
