problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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