Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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