he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
