Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
