A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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