Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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