i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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