i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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