If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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