The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So much Jack, so little girl.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
