I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I need help removing her.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize