2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
