yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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