He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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