fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
