There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize
