everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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