please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
wow bdsm is so cute
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
