we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
