i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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