Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
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