just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize