Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
