Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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