he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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