My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
