Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
