god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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