I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
