Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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