I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
