I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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