i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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