it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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