He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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