is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this boner is exhausting
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
