Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
