Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
