we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In other news, I just burned my penis
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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