yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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