Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
