ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
