he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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