He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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