my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
