After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
