I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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