Grow some girl-balls and come out already
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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