i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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