Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
