it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
