You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
