All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's the barista slut.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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