I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
