Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
