big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
